Not Knowing

I've been mulling on this subject for a while and after such a big event as THU2019 feels like a good moment to let it out.

This might be one of the hardest things of me to confess and its something that I struggle a lot and defines who I am socially. I've come to accept it, but even accepting it I'm still far away from knowing how to use it to my advantage. I believe each and everyone is unique, and in our uniqueness there are skills and tendencies that are not so simple to deconstruct.

So, I have this voice that screams to me every time there is a argument about something that's more complicated than 2+2=4, and even then, if 2 relates to butts, you can say that 2butts +2 butts = 8 buttcheeks. So... fuk me right. (Btw sorry about the reference butt my wife just flashed me)

..and so to say that in every single social occasion I have this voice screaming at me all the different options that make your argument valid or invalid. Which makes all the information I've read and studied gets mixed up.

The other day I was playing Scattergories, a game where you get a letter and you have to write down a bunch of categories starting with that letter. This time the voice began to yell names and my brain throws a barrier saying that the voice is just trolling like always. By the end of the round my page is blank, and since I was among friends I opened up and told I was thinking about writing a specific word... and who would've guessed... the voice was screaming righteously...

So I'm still working out on this, as soon as I figure a way to make use of this voice. Ill let you know.